The Host

Another film that I watched based on the recommendation of a friend, 'The Host' is the Korean answer to the Japanese monster movie. My friend, Josh (hi Josh), said that he liked it even more than 'Cloverfield', which I found rather hard to believe. That movie was, after all, my movie of 2008. I bought the DVD the day it came out and have watched it roughly 10 times. Still, I rather enjoy monster movies that don't suck (see: Matthew Broderick's 'Godzilla' abortion) so I was more than ready to give it a try.

The Setting
It takes place in South Korea in what appears to be the early spring. The first scene of the movie happens in some sort of science/medical laboratory where an American doctor tells his Korean subordinate to empty all formaldehyde into the sink. "But sir, if I do that it will empty into the Han River," he says. After a confusing back and forth between the two, the deal is done. Apparently this spawns a horrific mutant fish creature...

The Story
The movie revolves around one family that gets caught up in the madness of the huge creature's wake. There is an elder man, his three kids and his granddaughter. The father of the little girl is a slacker who works in his father's shop. We first see him asleep on the job while customers walk by. Later that day something is seen hanging off the underside of a bridge. A crowd gathers to see what it is when suddenly...kerplunk. The creature comes on land and basically starts fucking shit up. In one final move before slinking back down into the Han River, it snatches the little girl with his tail and dives headlong back into the water. The rest of the movie is about the family's attempts to rescue her.

The Cast
I watched the movie with English dubbing, which was a huge mistake. Dubbing is always terrible as even during highly emotional parts of the movie, the voice actors sound as if they are in a slapstick comedy. This hurt the movie greatly to me, but it isn't the movie's fault. I may watch it again with subtitles for a more appealing go-round. I assume this is an option on the DVD. I want to see it without being reminded of a goddamn Anime cartoon.

What it reminds me of
It is a monster movie, but it focuses on the human element of the story rather than the monster element. In this way it is like 'Cloverfield.' Yes, there is a monster and yes, it is fucked up, but there is more to the film than just that. Throughout the course of the movie the girl's father (who is the main character) transforms from the slacker dumbass into a motivated badass. You begin to realize that while he may be an idiot, he also loves the hell out of his daughter.

Effectiveness
The monster is very cool-looking and the story arc of the characters is pretty engaging (except for the brother, who jokes of himself that he is not interesting enough to have a story about him on the news when the family becomes fugitives) However, there really needed to be more emphasis on where the thing came from. Formaldehyde dumped down a drain created this huge fish? How? Why is there only one? Why did the American doctor force his assistant to dump it down the drain when it was against regulations? These questions are never answered and it is a glaring weakness in the movie's story. Also, as I mentioned before, the dubbing was abysmal. I felt like I was watching an episode of 'Speed Racer'. But as far as being disturbed by the thing's appearance and how it moves, it works in spades.

'The Host' score
74 - I feel that this score would have been higher without the dubbing gaffe. I legitimately enjoyed the film, but that aspect hurt it considerably as an experience. I fully recommend it to anyone who enjoys the monster genre and to anyone who has ever wanted to take on a demon fish with your archer sister, your pyro brother and shop-owner father. The movie has a chance to move up into the 80s if I can see it again with subtitles. It was a very big problem. Excellent movie overall, but it is no 'Cloverfield'. Not to me, anyways.

Dorothy Mills

I had never heard of this movie, but it caught my eye at Blockbuster (yes, I still rent movies from actual video stores). Don't judge a book by its cover and all that, but the teenage blonde girl staring creepily at me out the corner of her eye drew my attention. I read the synopsis on the back and saw a reviewer's comment that it was a contemporary take on 'The Exorcist'. I was sold on giving it a try.

The Setting
It is an Irish movie and it takes place on a little island off the mainland. It is shot in the same delightfully-gloomy way that many English, Scottish and Irish movies are shot. The weather is dreary and overcast, it threatens of rain almost constantly and is quite pleasing to the eye. The community is made up of extremely simple (read: creepy) church-going folks who give off a palpable 'Omigodwhatthefuckiswrongwiththesepeople' feeling. If you're expecting this feeling to dissipate, then you are going to be disappointed.

The Story
The film opens up with one of the town church services wrapping up with the priest going on about God seeing you everywhere and some such nonsense. Cut to a husband and wife walking back to their little house and the stage is set for 101 minutes of suspenseful tomfoolery. The woman enters the house and says, "Dorothy? We're back". I'll leave what happens next for you to see. Suffice to say that the psychiatrist (who is actually the film's main character) is needed promptly.

The Cast
One thing I like about foreign films is that I rarely, if ever, recognize an actor. If I have never seen a particular actor before, the more likely I am to lose myself in the story instead of just thinking about how I am watching Tom Hanks pretend to be someone else. The main character (whose name I don't know and I don't feel like checking imdb) is an uber-MILF who is almost unrealistically sexy. She also plays her role extremely well as the psychiatrist working with Dorothy. As for Dorothy, who was played by an actress in her acting debut, was played fantastically. She is creepy, adorable and you sympathize with her as much as is possible with an absolute nutter like Dorothy.

What it reminds me of
It does have a bit of an Exorcist feel to it, seeing as how Dorothy ends up saying terrible things in voices different than her own, but that is where the similarities end for me. I was expecting a horror movie that would scare me silly, but the movie is much more in the vein of the mystery/suspense genre. Sure, there are supernatural overtones that are hard to miss, but it makes you wonder more than it makes you jump.

Effectiveness
I was drawn in by it, for sure. It kept me guessing and wondering why some of the things I was seeing were the way they were. It has some twists and turns that you won't see coming, but it succeeds in making you care about the characters involved.

'Dorothy Mills' Score
65 - I was pleasantly surprised by this one. I didn't really have any pre-conceived notions about it other than it looked intriguing as I strode through the aisles. I would definitely recommend it if you are a fan of mystery chillers. Not a bad way to spend a rainy night.

Quarantine

I was looking forward to this movie ever since I saw the first commercial for it. Anything that is dark, grainy and has a greenish hue is my kind of deal.

The Ambience
If you don't like the feeling that you are perpetually about to be murdered, then this is probably not the movie for you. It is constantly dark (it takes place in an old Los Angeles apartment building which (surprise!) loses power often). There is a constant worry that something is going to appear from the darkness and scare a little bit of poo out of you.

The Cast
I only recognized a couple people, Greg Germann (Ally McBeal) who plays a veterinarian trapped in the building and one other guy whose name escapes me. He plays a fireman who hits on the female lead. Speaking of which, Jennifer Carpenter is all kinds of hot. It verges on distracting because you just want to have a genital-to-genital business meeting with her. Or at least I did. The mix of characters makes you truly suspect everyone of everything that is going on. Whether it be the non-English speaking voodoo-looking people or the little girl who is suspiciously under the weather, everyone is a suspect.

What it reminds me of
Think 'Cloverfield' meets '28 Days Later'. It is another movie, a la 'Cloverfield' and 'The Blair Witch Project' that takes on the self-shot motif and puts the cameraman (i.e. you) right in the thick of the horror. Add in a rapacious virus of some sort with fast-moving zombie-like creatures and you have a '28 Days Later' situation. Also like 'Cloverfield' (which was roughly 1 hour, 13 minutes long), 'Quarantine' runs a super-short 1 hour, 25 minutes.

Effectiveness
This movie's aim is to scare the ever-loving shit out of you, but in a more direct sense than a typical slasher film. The film is extremely claustrophobic as it taken place entirely inside a three-story apartment building that appears to have been built in the early 1900s. It puts you in the middle of everything and you feel like you are living the nightmare with these characters. The relative brevity of the movie is misleading as it feels much longer. Not in a soul-crushing 'Knocked Up' sort of way where you just want it to end, but in a 'I'm living this and it is scaring the piss out of me' way.

Scoring System
My scoring system will be out of 100, because there are only so many movies that can get 3 stars when some of those movies are far better than others.

0-20 = Don't Waste Your Time
21-40 = Only Watch If You Watched (and enjoyed) 'Good Burger'
41-60 = Could Be Enjoyable If Viewed With Friends
61-80 = Ranging From Above Average to Very Good
81-90 = Movies That I Would Consider Buying For Future Viewing
91-100 = 'Braveheart,' 'Lord of the Rings,' 'American Beauty' Range of Perfection

'Quarantine' Score
72 - That might sound like I thought it was mediocre, but that is not the case. It is definitely worth a watch and it achieves exactly what it sets out to achieve. It was better than I expected, as I thought that it was going to be nothing more than a decent fright flick. It was that and plenty more. To get upwards of 80 a movie has to be life-alteringly awesome. I recommend this movie to everyone who loves a good scare in a dimly-lit building with fucked-up circumstances abound.

Weclome to my movie blog

Ok, so I don't know how often I will update this thing, but I have been on a movie-watching tangent lately. I'll offer up my thoughts on some of these movies in a way that I'm sure will only be interesting to me. Enjoy. Or don't. I don't really care.